Finding Love Post-Divorce

“Well, maybe it’s time to be clear about who I am.  I am someone who is looking for love. REAL love.  Ridiculous…inconvenient… consuming… can’t live without each other… love.”   - Carrie Bradshaw to Aleksandr Petrovsky

With February being the month of love and Valentine’s Day just next week, I wanted to talk about the prospect of finding love again.  Is it something that you see for yourself one day?  Make sure that you keep telling yourself that you believe in love if you want to find it again post-divorce. 

We have discussed the Do's and Don'ts of Dating Post Divorce, but what happens if you think that you found the person that you want to be your life partner again?  This is scary, but it is also beautiful.  Think of all of the work that you have done to be open to this possibility again. 

Think about where you were, unhappily married and not knowing if that was it for you.  Do you remember the lonely days and nights while married;   or, the journey that being a single mom required/ requires from you?  How fun was dating again ?! LOL!  Anyway, this one's for you, my mama friend,  who has found love again or is in pursuit and is ready for a commitment and a journey together.  Whether the journey is being remarried or not, I am just talking about LOVE.  I am so happy for you.  

Here’s my little story about finding love post-divorce…

After 3 years of being divorced and working seriously on myself, I found the love of my life.  His name is Giuseppe.  Before meeting him I dated plenty!  See, I knew that I loved the role of being a wife- if it was with someone who valued it as much as I did. 

I wanted to have a partner and wanted to share my life but only if I found the right person for me.  I made my lists.  I did my healing (and still work on myself as there is always a layer to discover and rediscover about myself). And, I knew what I was looking for and what I did not want in my future. 

There were a few semi-serious relationships that I attempted in those three years but again, because of all of the self-evaluation over the years, it became so clear to me when something was not right.  The red flags do not go unnoticed when you know yourself well and have enough self-confidence to stand up for what you deserve.   

I was perfectly fine and happy just the three of us (me and my two kids) and truly enjoyed life again in my new role as a single mom.  At the same time, I never gave up on love. 

I knew that I had a lot to give and that I was deserving of finding the RIGHT kind of love.  It was clear to me what I wanted and needed in the love department- clear just like what Carrie Bradshaw said in her ‘goodbye’ to Aleksandr Petrovsky.  

Once I said this out loud, believed in it, and put positive thoughts out there in the universe- I found him.  Or actually, he found me.  Our paths ALMOST crossed many times in the past.  We had the same circle of people in our lives; we attended the same events and just missed each other. Rightfully so, because we were not meant to be at those times in our lives.  However, when the planets aligned and we were both ready, we met and fell in love.

The words that you say and the vibes that you put out in the world are meaningful.  I truly believe that my positivity on love was a tremendous piece to finding love again.  If you constantly say things like, “It won’t happen to me” or “There is nobody that is going to fit into my world” then you are doing yourself a disservice. 

If YOU do not believe it then how can you expect it to just fall on your lap?  

I wish you all happy days filled with love- that is, self-love first and foremost and then whatever love you desire in your life.

xo,

Tracey💕